If there was ever a year in which you didn’t want your day ruined by a movie, it was 2020. But thanks to an audience desperate for new streaming content, there was no shortage of miserable duds.
Here, our critics painfully force themselves to remember the worst films of the year.
In the first 15 minutes, a child utters the word “pizza,” and a pie magically appears at the door. She — hold onto your lunch — manifested it. You see, this bunk spirituality movie starring Katie Holmes was based on the self-help book “The Secret.” Not so secret was how much it sucked.
This movie about toxic masculinity made poison look preferable. A group of middle-aged dudes head into the woods every year for a stupid competition of manhood. It had one job — be funny — but not a single joke landed.
One of the last movies to hit theaters before they shut down for months, “The Hunt” was a downer of a way to go out. The satire was about a secret base in which “elites” hunt “deplorables” for sport. It could have been a riot under the pens of smarter writers. Instead, it just made viewers feel gross.
As confusing as it was wretched, Netflix’s dystopian crime thriller was little more than interconnected torture-porn sequences that made no sense. It lost me early on when a man without skin set fire to the hero I couldn’t care less about.
Not everything on Disney+ is a winner. The studio obviously kicked Kenneth Branagh’s pitiful excuse for a fantasy film to its new streaming service because it wasn’t worth holding for a theatrical release or spending millions on marketing it. Screen legend Judi Dench was directed to grunt like Bruce Springsteen.
Even Glenn Close as a chain-smoking, spitfire matriarch can’t save Ron Howard’s cringey adaptation of the best seller about quicksand-like poverty in Red America.
Turns out the seemingly limitless charms of Robert Downey Jr. do have a limit, and this farting-CGI-animal farce is it.
This terrible remake left me with a grudge, too; not the demonic kind, but an aversion towards really bad versions of great Japanese horror movies.
If only Tiffany Haddish, who just turned down a non-paying three-hour pre-Grammys telecast gig, had been as choosy when offered this deeply dumb working-gals comedy.
This is a heavy-handed authoritarian metaphor featuring Johnny Depp as a brutal villain. Which turns out to be pretty good foreshadowing for his real-life story this year.